Having seemingly addressed all other major matters of concern for New York City, mayoral candidate Christine Quinn shifted focus to the real issues on the minds of voters and residents – poor condom quality.

Quinn said she has received numerous complaints from gay-rights organizations that the free, government-issued condoms are too small and break easily.

Quinn’s remarks drew a flaccid response from the Department of Health, which claimed there have been exactly zero complaints issued so far this year.  They also added further hard evidence, saying only 36 complaints since 2007 warranted an investigation, out of 200 million condoms supplied.

That is a .000018% rate.

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Perhaps Quinn should be less focused on condom quality, and more engaged with the stiff competition she faces in her campaign for New York City Mayor.