It is with great pomp and circumstance that The Mental Recession announces our third annual Democrat Turkey Awards (DTAs) – in which we reward those outstanding Democrats who failed in spectacular fashion this past year.
Before we go any further, however, we’re excited to announce that this year’s recipients will get a brand new trophy design. Last year, we had this 14-karat beauty won by Harry Reid, Huma Abedin, President Obama, and college kids in general.
This year, we’re pleased to reveal the brand new DTA trophy design … Drum roll please.
Bam! This jewel-encrusted treasure of the avian world will surely be the showcase piece in any person’s trophy room.
Of course, recipients don’t actually receive a physical trophy, just a picture of one. More specifically, the picture above. Hey, we operate on a shoestring budget.
So without further ado … The 2015 Mental Recession DTAs go to:
It was a hard choice, but Anthony Weiner stood tall this past year proving that even the most flaccid of political careers can make an indelible mark on the national stage.
He may have been caught sexting with underage girls, lost his marriage, is facing criminal indictment, was forced to ride ponies while in sex rehab, and played a role in preventing the first woman to ever win the presidency these last several months, but he’s still number one in our reader’s hearts.
And isn’t that really all that matters?
Rolling in with her second DTA award!
Abedin and her husband both had devices confiscated during an investigation into Weiner’s sexual relationship with an underage girl, leading to the discovery of new Hillary Clinton emails during her tenure at the State Department.
The discovery led to a temporary re-opening of the Clinton investigation and resulted in a precipitous drop in the polls for the Democrat. Hillary would never recover from that drop in numbers and an even greater loss of trust in voters, falling in her presidential bid to Donald Trump.
Shortly thereafter, Abedin was spotted having an emotional breakdown on the streets of Brooklyn. Now she’ll shed tears of joy after scoring back-to-back DTA awards!
President Barack Obama
When he’s not pardoning turkeys on the White House lawn, President Obama is collecting them – golden turkeys – as the only three-time winner of this prestigious award.
This one is very special however, as it practically represents a lifetime achievement award for the two-term president.
Obama feverishly pitched to Americans that a vote for Hillary Clinton amounted to a vote in the affirmative for his legacy.
“If you care about our legacy, realize everything we stand for is at stake,” Obama pleaded. “My name may not be on the ballot, but our (Michelle and me) progress is on the ballot.”
Voters subsequently went out and squashed his legacy by casting their votes with Trump.
Obama need not hang his head for very long – Aside from overseeing the utter collapse of the Democrat Party during his two terms, he gets to bring home a golden turkey to make the family proud of him once more. Now that’s a legacy!
What’s to say?
The biggest turkey not only of this presidential cycle, but perhaps in the history of politics, was roasted by a businessman and reality TV star named Donald Trump.
She spent her entire political career trying to get to this moment. To go down in the annals of history as the woman who shattered the proverbial glass ceiling by ascending to the presidency of the United States.
Instead, she failed in spectacular fashion.
Clinton in retrospect was an incredibly flawed candidate. Many thought that Trump was her ideal Republican opponent, the easiest person to dig up dirt on and to defeat. And he still won.
Clinton’s legacy is one of overseeing the deaths of four Americans in Benghazi, an email scandal that left top secret and classified material vulnerable to foreign hackers, perpetual lying that made her the most untrustworthy presidential candidate in modern times, and health issues that were never fully understood.
Oh and one last thing – a coveted DTA from all of us here at The Mental Recession. A little something that might have made the whole past year worthwhile.
We hope you enjoyed The Mental Recession’s Third Annual Democrat Turkey Awards (DTAs). Remember, even though all winners have to live with the shame of embarrassing their own party and America, they still get to go home with a completely fake jewel-encrusted golden turkey award. Something to tell the grand kids about someday.
Congratulations to all our winners! Here’s hoping Democrats will continue to work hard letting Americans know how completely incompetent they are, just by being themselves.
Cross-posted at the Political Insider