Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) has taken the IRS excuse that two-years worth of critical Lois Lerner e-mails simply vanished, and turned it into a weapon for every day Americans use when the taxman cometh.

Audited by the IRS?  This legislation has you covered.

The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act seeks to give taxpayers the same level of protection that IRS officials are allowed when they can’t quite come up with documents they’re being asked for.  You know, using bogus excuses such as conveniently timed computer crashes.

The bill will allow taxpayers asked for documentation by the IRS to use such excuses as “the dog ate my tax receipts,” “traded documents for five terrorists,” or even “was short on toilet paper while camping.”

The full text of the resolution follows:

The resolution may be cited as the “Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Resolution.”

Expressing the sense of the House of Representatives that the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) must allow taxpayers the same lame excuses for missing documentation that the IRS itself is currently proffering

Whereas, the IRS claims that convenient, unexplained, miscellaneous computer malfunction is sufficient justification not to produce specific, critical documentation; and,

Whereas, fairness and Due Process demand that the American taxpayer be granted no less latitude than we afford the bureaucrats employed presently at the IRS;

Now, therefore, be it resolved that it is the sense of the House of Representatives that unless and until the Internal Revenue Service produces all documentation demanded by subpoena or otherwise by the House of Representatives, or produces an excuse that passes the red face test,

All taxpayers shall be given the benefit of the doubt when not producing critical documentation, so long as the taxpayer’s excuse therefore falls into one of the following categories:

1.         The dog ate my tax receipts
2.         Convenient, unexplained, miscellaneous computer malfunction
3.         Traded documents for five terrorists
4.         Burned for warmth while lost in the Yukon
5.         Left on table in Hillary’s Book Room
6.         Received water damage in the trunk of Ted Kennedy’s car
7.         Forgot in gun case sold to Mexican drug lords
8.         Forced to recycle by municipal Green Czar
9.         Was short on toilet paper while camping
10.       At this point, what difference does it make?

In any case, IRS can see the NSA for a good, high quality copy.

Stockman’s legislation will allow taxpayers to use the same lame excuses currently being used by the Obama administration whenever they get caught in a scandal.