GOP Mocks Democrats With Faux Paul Simon Setlist – ’50 Ways to Cover Up a Sex Crime’
Later this evening, Governor Cuomo will be celebrating the end of the legislative session with a $50,000/chair fundraiser featuring a performance by the legendary Paul Simon.
The GOP, rarely willing to go on the offensive using cultural references, did just that, issuing a press release which featured a faux setlist for the musician, and clearly and consistently attacked Democrats for shielding their harassment-enabling Speaker, and the uber-creepy disgraced former Assemblyman, Vito Lopez.
Here is a copy of the release:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: David Laska
ALBANY, NY… Despite failing to meaningfully address New York’s woeful tax, regulatory and business climate this session, Andrew Cuomo has declared victory and is throwing himself a fundraiser tonight featuring special guest Paul Simon. The Governor is asking New Yorkers for $50,000 for a “Chair” ticket (put another way, that’s just about $7,000 less than New Yorkers’ median income).
Fortunately, the NYGOP spies were able to get ahold of Paul Simon’s setlist for the evening. Here it is:
“The Sounds of Silence”
As sung by Andrew Cuomo and the Democrat Conference to Sheldon Silver
“The Brooklyn Bridge Song (Feelin’ Interns)”
As sung by Vito Lopez
“Me and Vito Down by the Schoolyard (but not within 1,000 Feet)”
Feat. The chorus of female Democrats who won’t stand up to Sheldon Silver
“50 Ways to Cover Up a Sex Crime”
Silver has a history of covering up sexual harassment cases using taxpayer funds, and Lopez was his most recent project. In addition to the harassment charges, multiple witnesses stated that Lopez even leered at a 14-year-old female intern, commenting on her “sexy attire”, and saying she should be emulated by the other ladies in his office. The incident led to one woman’s mother calling 911, after which police filed a child abuse report.
Despite the scandals, no Democrat, especially Governor Cuomo, seems willing to call out the Speaker and ask for his resignation.
While Democrats celebrate amidst a successful War on Women, living it up at a $50,000 per chair fundraiser, no doubt the victims will be thinking about their lawsuit against Lopez and Silver – another expensive repercussion for taxpayers who will be footing the legal bills.