A man who claims to have witnessed first-hand, the National Security Agency (NSA) arranging the terrorist attacks on 9/11 that took down the World Trade Center buildings in New York City, has announced that he will be running for Mayor of that same city next year.

According to Politicker:

Jeff Boss, who has made a name for himself by putting up posters around the city proclaiming that he “WITNESSED THE NSA ARRANGE THE 911 ATTACKS” will be running for mayor next year. In addition to his mayoral bid, Mr. Boss, who is something of a perennial candidate, has his eye on the Governor’s Mansion in New Jersey, the White House and the Town Hall in Guttenberg, New Jersey, just across the Hudson from Manhattan.

Mr. Boss officially registered his mayoral campaign last Thursday. He also announced his intention to run for mayor of New York City on his website, BossForSenate.com where he posted a lengthy, all-caps list entitled “Things I will do for you as Mayor of NYC.”

Mr. Boss’s platform includes; building over one million units of low-income housing with rent that is not more than $600 per month, legalizing sports betting and table casinos, extending the subway to Staten Island, building dikes, sea walls and “AIRTIGHT COVERS FOR THE VENTS OF THE SUBWAYS,” renovating LaGuardia Airport, allowing dogs in theaters and restaurants “LIKE THEY ARE IN FRANCE” and changing gun laws so that anyone found in possession of an illegal gun faces first degree murder charges.

Aside from thinking the NSA was responsible for organizing the 9/11 attacks, Mr. Boss also believes they have docked chefs “IN ALMOST EVERY RESTAURANT TO POISON FOOD”, and that the organization should be credited with killing 100,000 Americans annually.

Boss actually ran as an independent candidate for the Presidency of the United States this past year, receiving a staggering 907 votes.  Staggering in that there are actually 907 people in this country equally as moronic as Boss himself.  Boss’ ballot label for the election read, “NSA DID 911”.

His main platform seems to be a strange obsession with his computer’s Caps-Lock key.

Only in New York…